| There are women who are keepers, and there are women who are an emotional Black Hole that suck the life out of you.This is the other side of Bangin Brunette's excellent Blog about Playas, and is intended for those who have yet to make the same mistakes as me...? O.K. - you have found the woman of your dreams.Smart, sexy, Independent, knows how to dress, and what to do with the $1.29 can of whipped cream in your fridge.Here's the top ten things to watch out for.If you note these behaviors, Bail.Now!? 10.She cleans your crib.This is not a bad thing, because God knows it needs it, But soon, you notice some things have moved, and shortly after that things begin to disappear.Strange stuff starts to appear.Pretty soon you find yourself living in some approximation of a fairy Princess' boudoir, and you can't find your Golf clubs.The water in your toilet is blue, and there are smelly candles everywhere.If she starts making wardrobe suggestions, you are really screwed.(Poolboy did a whole blog on this phenomenon, but it seemed to work out for him - go figure).? 9.She has more than one cat.Cats are O.K. for what they are, but if your sweetie has more than one, trust me, she has issues.The damn cats will not like you.They will pee in your shoes, and walk on your face during the night if you stay over (Note: Cats do not always land on their feet).Do not try to be their friend.They will not respect you and will injure you at the first opportunity.? or...? She has a yappy little dog.I'll wager the dog has sweaters, a superior attitude, and acts like it's four times bigger than it is. If you try to cop a little feel, you will either come up with a handful of dog, or draw back a bloody digit, 'cause he does not want anybody messing with mom, and appears to be welded to her lap.If she has big dogs, marry her, unless they sleep in her bed.Come to think of it, under those circumstances, she doesn't need you, and you would probably have never hooked up anyway.? 8.You've been dating a little while, and you begin to notice changes.She begins to dress differently - you like it, because it's stuff you TOLD her you like.She stops listening to her Country, and starts listening to your R&B. She stops making suggestions about where to go, and leaves it up to you.She only cooks the things you like.She gently extracts every scrap of information she can from you about what you think a woman should be.This is NOT the wonderful thing you think it is. You have acquired a female cameleon, and you're going to be very unhappy with the end result.? 7.The simplest of communications turns into some angst-ridden full-out analysis of what you were thinking, what you said, what you meant, and how you're going to make it right.Once you foolishly respond to the opening gambit in this game, you find yourself inexorably drawn deeper and deeper into an emotional morass that is as sticky as a spiderweb.If you terminate the conversation, you will be accused of 'shutting down' - whatever that is. A request to attend joint therapy sessions lies just down the road.? 6.Your friends stop coming around.Friends are the all time best barometer of your sweetie's emotional health.You may be blinded by Love, but they ain't, and they will shun you until you wise up.? 5.She asks you for a picture.A few days later, you go over to her place and find the picture pasted to every flat surface in the house.The living room.The kitchen.The bedroom.The bathroom for Christ's sake.This is not normal behavior, and signals trouble.? 4.For no apparent reason, you have done something terribly offensive, and you don't hear from her.For a day, a week, a month or a year (I kid you not - I had one disappear for a year, and then call to tell me she had come to her senses, and realized how much she loved me. Do NOT ask me what I stupidly did...).Once she reappears, there is no explanation and no enlightenment about what your transgression was.It never happened.? 3.You wake up every morning, and find that you're back at square one.Just like the movie 'Ground Hog Day', you find yourself reliving the day over and over, proving to her that you are NOT a beast unworthy of her love.You build up no credit, and must be tireless in your attempts to win her favor.This one is sneaky and manifests itself over time.All women need reassurance about your intentions - THAT's normal, but this is something special, and you won't notice right away.? 2.She spends all the time she's not with you with her parents.If she's 14, that's cool.If she's 30, you've got a problem.Make sure she has some girlfriends, and hangs with them on a regular basis.? and the number one reason to bail...? 1.You've just finished the horizontal boogie, and she damn near knocks you off the bed in a mad dash for the bathroom.I don't think I have to explain why this is so very wrong, and does not bode well for your future together. |
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