| Before I get started to why I originally started this particular blog, I have to show this video.It presents one side of a double edged sword, or a double standard for those Non-D&D playing kids who don't get references not described by medieval weapons.See, Chris Hansen has the best job EVER.He gets to pick on these guys and make complete fun of them, all on national TV.And they deserve every bit of it.Watch this video as this dickhead TEACHER talks about what he does for a living and who he teaches.Then listen as Chris reads the transcript which the guy says is from the bible.haha.That part is priceless.To see what I mean, watch this.Now, like I said, that's not why I began this particular blog.It's not why I'm perplexed.I'm both perplexed, vexed, and pissed off that I was never the victim of a teacher/student relationship.No, not with male scumbag teachers like the one above.I'm talking about Debra Lafaveand all the rest of the hot female teachers who are constantly boffing their male students; some as young as eighth grade!Where the FUCK were these teachers when I was in school?The fact is, we didn't live in a society like we do today when I was that age (many moons ago).Back in the day, there was a song called Hot For Teacher.You'll probably be able to catch it on the oldies station.haha A song by Van Halen, it was about a sexy teacher who every student had a crush on.The Wikipedia page mentions that the song describes sex with the teacher but I'm pretty sure it was all in the kids' heads.I mean, up until a few years ago, sex with a teacher was fantasized about but I'm sure it was rarely accomplished.I mean, what would a kid have to offer a hot, sexy, mature woman?Well, times have changed my friends.Which makes me wish I was a kid again.That being said, I'm sure the movie Billy Madison could have been a whole lot better.Though he did get it on with a hot teacher in that movie, it could have been the best porno EVER!haha
Look at Co-Ed magazines top 18 sex offenders.These are all hot female teachers accused, and some convicted, of having sex with much younger male students.Wow, to be a kid again.Hot for Teacher: 18 Sexiest Sex OffendersIt has to be said: female school teachers are the new male Catholic priests.Sexual offenses committed by female teachers is at its peak, much like the libidos of the accused.While male teachers are (rightfully) lambasted for their sexual misconduct, women seem to get off much easier - literally and figuratively.And why, you ask?The answer is simple: older women seducing younger men is part of our culture, like it or not.Just ask Mrs. Robinson, or Stifler's Mom.South Park touched on the subject in "Miss Teacher Bangs a Boy," where Kyle's little brother Ike has an affair with his Kindergarten teacher.The cops in the episode have a field day with the case, exclaiming "niiiiiiiiice" after hearing about the teacher's naughty secret.Their point, however blurry, was well taken: everybody loves a sexed-up authoritative figure, within reason.My point and solution?Horny teachers should wait, ever so patiently, until their prey graduates.If you're into kids, you derserve to be locked up; if you're into being the older lady for kicks, play your cards right, don't break the law, and have at it like a jackrabbit.We here at COED do not condone sexual misconduct by any means, unless said means consist of hot, willing and able teachers getting down with young studs.Just kidding?Check out 18 of America's Sexiest Sex Offenders after the jump and vote!Cameo Patch Age at time of offense: 29Location: Toole County, UT
Occupation: Substitute Teacher
Lover: 17 year-old male student
Crime:?Performing oral sex on a minor.Charged with unlawful sexual conduct and lewdness
Sentence: $2000 fine, 36 months probation and ordered to obtain a psycho-sexual evaluation.Angela ComerAge at time of offense: 26Location: Kentucky
Occupation: Middle School Math Teacher
Lover: 14 year-old male student
Crime: Fled the country with a 14-year-old lover and her four-year-old son.Sentence: Indicted by a grand jury in Kentucky on felony custodial interference, two counts of third-degree sodomy and four counts of unlawful transaction with a minor relating to sexual acts.Danielle WallsAge at time of offense: 25Location: San Diego, CA
Occupation: High School History Teacher
Lover: 16 year-old male student
Crime: 10 to 25 sexual encounters with a minor, supplying drugs and alcohol to a minor.Pled guilty to multiple counts of unlawful sexual contact and furnishing alcohol to a minor in addition giving a controlled substance to a minor.Sentence: 1 year in jail, 5 years six months probation.Christine ScarlettAge at time of offense: 39Location: Strongsville, OH
Occupation: Art Teacher
Lover: 17 year-old male student
Crime: Scarlett allegedly held a win a date with a teacher contest, and took Bradigan to Dairy Queen.Bradigan said Scarlett then made a move on him in the parking lot of a Strongsville mall.Bradigan says a sexual relationship followed.Sentence: Sentencing yet to take place.Amber JenningsAge at time of offense: 30Location: Dudley, MA
Occupation:?High School English Teacher
Lover: 16 year-old male student
Crime: Emailing nude pictures and video of herself to a former student.Pled guilty to "disseminating harmful materials to a minor".Sentence: 2 years probationRebecca Dawn BogardAge at time of offense: 27Location: Biloxi, MI
Occupation:?High School Teacher
Lover: 16 year-old male student
Crime: Sent explicit text messages and trysted with the victim in her white Jaguar, which bore the license plate "GRRRRR."Sentence: Facing felony sexual battery charges.Mary Kay LetourneauAge at time of offense: 34Burien, WA
Occupation: Elementary School Teacher
Lover: 13 year-old male student
Crime:?Having sex with a minor.Sentence: Pled guilty to two counts of second-degree statutory rape and was sentenced to 89 months in prison.Fact: Letourneau was her victims 3rd grade tacher and began their sexual relationship when she taught him again in 6th grade when he was 13 years old.Letourneau gave birth to his love child while serving her 89 month prision sentence.Letourneau was released from prision in 2004 and was married to her victim (now 21 years old) one year later.Pamela SmartAge at time of offense: 23Location: Derry, NH
Occupation: Media Services Coordinator
Lover: 15 year-old male
Crime: Seduced 15-year-old William "Billy" Flynn and threatening to leave him unless he killed her husband.Sentence: Charged with murder and sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole.Note: Nicole Kidman portrayed Pamela Smart in the movie To Die For.Janelle Batkins Age at the time of crime: 42Location: Clinton, MI
Occupation: French Teacher
Lover: 17 year-old male student
Crime: Had sex with underage student at her home over a several month period.Sentence: Charged with two counts of CSC and if convicted she will serve jail time.Loni FolksAge at time of offense: 24Location: Petal, Mississippi.Occupation: 5th Grade Teacher
Lover: 16 year-old male student
Crime: Arrested on Jan 28, 2008 for having sexual relations with a minor.Sentence: Charges pending.Sandra GeiselAge at time of offense: 42Location: Colonie, NY
Occupation: English Teacher
Lover: 4 students incuding a 16 year-old student.Crime: Having sex with 4 students including a minor in the backseat of her car.Sentence: Albany County District Attorney's office filed two felony rape charges.Heather SheltonAge at time of offense: 22Location: Buncombe, NC
Occupation: Teacher's Assistant
Lover: 18-year-old student
Crime:?In North Carolina it is a felony for any teacher to have sex with a student regardless of the age of the student.Sentence: Fired from her jobCarrie McCandlessAge at time of offense: 29Location: Jefferson County, CO
Occupation: High School English TeacherLover: 17 year-old male student
Crime: Having sex with a minor during a school sponsored camping trip to the Rockies.Pled guilty to tampering with evidence and contributing to the delinquency of a minor.Sentence: 45 days in days in prison, 5 years probation, 1 - two year deferred sentence, 1 4 year deferred sentence and 10 year registration as a sex offender
Odd Fact: Carrie's husband was the school's principal.Amy McElhenneyAge at time of offense: 25Location: Austin, TX
Occupation: High School Spanish Teacher
Lover: 18-year-old student
Crime: Charged with having an improper relationship with a student, a second-degree felony.Sentence: A conviction on a second-degree felony could result in up to 20 years in prison
Notes: Competed in the 2002 Miss Texas pageant after she was crowned Miss Bexar County.Pamela Rogers TurnerAge at time of offense: 27Location: McMinniville, TN
Occupation: Elementary School Teacher, Physical Education and Basketball Coach
Lover: 13 year-old male student
Crime: Having vaginal and oral sex with a minor on more than a dozen occasions at school, her home and the teens' home.She was later arrested for sending nude photos, sex videos and text messages to a minor and continuing communications with the boy through blogs and a website after her original arrest.She was ultimately charged with 4 counts of sexual battery by an authority figure and violation of probation
Sentence: 270 days in prison, an 8-year suspended sentence, 7 years 3 months probation, register as a sex offender and surrender her teaching certificate for life.[click image to see gallery]
Debra LafaveAge at time of offense: 25Location: Tampa, FL
Occupation: Middle School Teacher
Lover: 14 year-old male student
Crime: Numerous sexual encounters with a teen in her classroom, her home and her SUV.Charged with 4 felony counts of lewd and lascivious battery and one count of lewd and lascivious exhibition.Sentence: 3 years house arrest, 7 years probation and lifetime registration as a sex offender who cannot work near children
Odd Fact: Nick Carter claims to have lost his virginity to Ms. LafaveHonerable Mention *Neither of the two below have been convicted of a sex crime*[click image to see gallery]
Erica ChevillarAge: 26Location: Boca Raton, FL
Occupation: 10th grade social studies teacher
Notes: Posed for the US National Bikini Team and resigned rather than facing punishment when parents in the school district saw the pictures online.After resigning Chevillar posed for Playboy and joined WWE's Diva search.Check out Erica's super hot Playboy and US Bikini Team pics here.Tamara HooverAge : 29Location: Austin, TX
Occupation: Art teacher
Crime: Allegedly being the subject of explicit photos that had been posted on Flickr, a public photograph sharing website.Sentence: Agreed to resign from her position at Austin High School in Texas and received a $14K settlement from the school.I was watching the news the other day when I saw a story about a female teacher who had sex with at least two of her eighth grade students.She told one of them, "You're too shy.I can help."Then she had sex with him in her Lexus SUV.That lucky bastard!I know, it's a double edged sword, a double standard, pick your cliche.But, as South Park geniusly put it, the only thing you can say to a boy who has sex with a hot older teacher is, "Niiice.Kyle: Ex- Excuse me? My name is...Brad.And I need to report a crime.Anonymously.Detective 1: Oh?What's the crime?Kyle: Well, I attend South Park Elementary.And- And one of the teachers is having sex with a student.Cops: Oh my god!This is terrible.Detective 1: You did the right thing telling the police, Brad.Now who's the teacher?What's his name?Kyle: Well, it isn't a guy teacher.It's a woman?Cop 1: A woman?Kyle: Yeah.She's having sex with a boy.Detective 2: Oh.But- But she's ugly, right?Kyle: Well, no, not really.It's the kindergarten teacher, Miss Stevenson.Detective 1: The blonde?Kyle: Yeah.Cop 1: Some young boy's having sex with Miss Stevenson?Kyle: Yes.Cop 1: Nice.Detective 1: Nice.Kyle: What?!No, you don't understand!Cop 1: You sure they've had sex?Kyle: Yeah!Cop 2: Has she performed oral sex on him?Kyle: Yeah, I think so.Cop 2: Nice.Cop 1: Nice.Cop 2: Nice.Detective 1: So, wait.What's the crime?Cop 1: The crime is, she isn't doin' it with me!Kyle: Hey!He's totally underage!She's taking advantage of him!Detective 1: You're right, we're sorry.This is serious.We need to track this student down, and give him his Luckiest Boy in America medal right away.Kyle: Aagh!Now if you hear of a male teacher, like the Math teacher above, it's, "That's disgusting, you dirty old man pervert fuck head!"But if it's a hot, voluptuous, well built, mature teacher and she seduces a young kid, the first reaction is, "Lucky bastard!"At least that's my reaction.Maybe I'm sick.Ok, I think we can all agree that i"m sick, but come on.These kids are fulfilling every school boy's dream!The question still begs to be asked though.What could these kids offer these women?I blame the hormones in the McDonald's hamburgers.Kids are reaching puberty at ten.Hell, there was just a story in the news recently of a ten year old girl giving birth after she was raped by a relative.Now, I know that's apples and oranges compared to this discussion but it illustrates the fact that kids are maturing faster than ever before.Hell, I bet some of these eighth graders can grow full beards.Me? I'm 31 and I shave every five days haha.That that is explained by the fact that I don't eat much fast food.Regardless, I feel that I was jipped out of a very enjoyable eighth grade year, or elementary, middle and high school career, because I was never ONCE hit on by a hot teacher.Of course, most of my teachers, the female ones, looked like this:
?
?That's enough to make any school boy swear off sex FOREVER.And maybe that's the answer to the problem.Make every hot female teacher gain about fifty or sixty pounds before she's given her teaching degree.That oughta make any boy she comes onto run and hide and swear off sex until marriage.But that's not going to happen is it?Well, I don't know, we do have an obesity epidemic worldwide.But the truth is, teachers are getting hotter, kids are growing up faster and they're all fucking while I was playing D&D with my nerdy friends.I feel like I was robbed.Where was my hot teacher?Where was my offer to overcome my shyness with a happy ending?Maybe I'll be like Drew Barrymore in that chick flick, can't remember the name, where she goes back to high school undercover.Then, maybe I'll get hit on by a hot female teacher.Though, knowing my luck, my teacher will look like this:Ugh, this is the answer guys.This will ensure that every student gets a good education.This will ensure that they're all thinking about math, or social studies, or whatever else they teach in school instead of sex.In fact, put more teachers like the one above in classrooms and, I PROMISE YOU, sex will be the furthest thing from kids' minds.Excuse me while I go throw up.And while I do, I'm going to lament the fact that somewhere in this world, a little boy is shoving his purple headed warrior into the quivering mound of love pudding of his hot, voluptuous, mature older teacher.That lucky bastard.Or NIIIICE.Both apply. |
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