| Still no voice.?So many jokes that will not be told.?I'm actually thinking up putting up fliers-- "$50 Reward for return of lost Voice."?If anyone has home remedes, I'm totally open.?If they are weird enough, I'll take pictures!So there are actually a bunch of drawbacks to graduating.?Things that have to be done that they don't tell you about.?For instance, I have to update my the internet, Facebook, Yahoo Personal, etc.?Then I have to clear out my computer account just in case tehy take it away because I graduated-- don't want to lose any of my writings.?But there's all that other stuff too, like trying to find an answer to the question "what will you do now?"?Honestly, I've been running on vague ideas all this time.?It's time to start setting concrete goals.Foremost is working on my play... the new one in my head I'm writing for Angela and Phill and maybe a couple more.?It will be a quirky little comedy that we may be able to stage at some point in the future at the school.?Hopefully.?Then, I'll try fixing and submitting Dirty Girls for Nova Arts.?I should start by sending a copy to Kiza since she expressed interest in directing a new work for them by me.?It's a thought.?Then, Round 7 for Universe Cake, which I'm still not sure what I want to do with as far as fixing it up.But really, this is a nice place to be.?I have ideas, and I'm not burdened to do them all right this second.?Of course, I do work best with deadlines, but the stress of deadlines can also kill creative impulses.?So can overthinking a work, as my friend and I are realizing about stories.?If you try too hard to make something "litereate," you slowly lose the heart and soul of the story.?This is true of all types of writing.?In a way, it's true of everything.?I think it's most true in music and writing.Okay, so here is something you didn't know about me: I haven't always wanted to be a writer.?I sorta fell into it.?Originally, I wanted to do something scientific, like archology.?I'm still interested in science, especially history (mythologyand discovery)?and astronomy.?But I found myself more creativly inclined.?It was obvious in the stories I wrote... heck, even the technical papers I wrote were creative.?But instead, I steered towards music.?I learned as much about music as I could, playing both the French Horn and Flute, writing my own music as I went along.?I had actually planned on playing for the Houston Symphony someday.So what stopped me??Basically, I suck as a musician.?I tried too hard to play exactly the notes on the page in the most perfect way possible.?I didn't have the confidence in myself to play them with any real feeling or heart behind them.?I love music, don't get me wrong, and if I pick up an instrument, I play what I feel like how I feel like.?But given specific notes to play, I rely too much on finger placement and pitch.?I don't feel the notes.But I do feel words.?Sometimes, if I don't use the weaving metaphore, I talk about writing in musical terms.?I feel out the stories, listening to the vibrations and feeling what harmanizes and what doesn't.?Sometimes, I let things go that I shouldn't because I don't know how to fix it-- or to keep with?music, I don't know which instument to tune or add to the symphony that would lead to a better harmony.?Sometimes, I am to intent on listening to the Horns and not paying attention to what is going on with the Oboes or the Tympanie.Basically, writing was my fall back.?It was what I was doing until I figured out what else I could do.?I mean, I'm a good accountant, but I don't want to do that and I hate math.?So I kept writing.?And eventually, somehow, I fell in love with all the things you can do with writing.?You can be a great musician, create a masterpiece symphonie, write a rhondo for the ages.?You can write your own history, invent entire lost civilizations.?You can write about an accountant, if you wanted.And in that time, I tapped into something that had been an open faucet for a long time that has now become a Niagra-like torrent-- my own creativity.?Back before kindergarden, I would record stories on tape, sometimes while riding my bike, sometimes lying on my bed.?In kindergarden, I wrote a story (dictated really-- Dad typed while I spoke).?Everything I did was creative.?But I lost sight of that... or maybe it just recessed into my subconcious and dictated the things I did without me knowing.?At some point, my creativity became too much, and I was creating entire lives and worlds in my head-- places and people I would visit constantly.Eventually, I was no longer a visitor, but a prisoner of my creative thoughts.?I had to get them out.?So I tried everything-- music, drawing, acting, but none of it relieved what was in my head.?Except writing.?My skill as a writer was the only thing that could properly show the worlds in my head.?Sometimes, I wish I was a painter so you could see the things I've envisioned.?But the best I can to is describe everything via words.So that is why I write.?I know you didn't ask, and I'm not really sure how I got to this point.?Seriously, I'm going back over all I've just written and I don't know how it got here.?I guess I just needed to let it out.It's Mother's Day.?I'm going to do something really nice for mine.?Give yours an extra special day today, okay? |
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