| There are occasions in all of or lives where we will look into something that we are not really serious about acquiring.?Maybe we want to walk into an open-house to dream a little about how the "other half" lives, or maybe we want to test drive a car that we could never be approved for even if we were crazy enough to try.?Testing something's out can be fun, help to set our goals, help to stir the pot inside of us to get us to move forward.?But there are clear cases when you would not try before you buy.??Have you ever gone to the grocery store and put a box of cereal or a pint of ice cream in your cart, walked around the store while having no intention of buying it??Can you imagine yourself happily watching the ice cream melting in your cart, knowing full well that you would be putting it back in another twenty minutes or so??There are something's that are okay to try out and others that are not aren't there??So where is this line drawn??How far would you go trying something out before your sense of guilt would stop you??Would you try a shirt, pair of pants, a long black Channel dress.or even a man?
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The question of whether or not to walk into a house that has an open house sign on it is pretty clearly one that does not affect anyone in a bad way.?Sure the realtor working the site, may have to bake another pan of cookies, get up from their book, or may even get their hopes up a bit, but ultimately you have only wasted a few minutes of their time and some realtors I have spoken with would argue that any time spent in an open house is wasted time, so not much damage done.?You have not affected their pocket book, or emotions in any substantial way at all, and with so many others doing the same thing, often neighbors who are just lookie-loos, you will blend right in and soon be forgotten.?If you however decide to 'try' a dress, or some other article of clothing and wear it for a day, evening or more, you are without a doubt stretching the line of what is acceptable by most.?The clothing shop will take it back, and will probably not be able to sell it as new again, possibly not at all, and since they paid for it in the first place will be out some money.?It seems this is an easy thing for some to justify.?Maybe because in the end, after you return it, ?you don't have the item anymore, and break even in your bank account so to you it seems a wash.?No harm, no foul.?You know the checker who returns the item will not have to pay for it and I suppose because you can't see the person who is actually affected, or assume they are rich enough already to not be affected, true or not, its easy to separate yourself from what is a dishonest act.?As a dude I think its ridiculous and this comes from the fact that guys, straight guys anyway, don't do this.?At least if they do its in such small numbers as to be negligible.?You may know the exception to the rule, but I don't.?Guys buy what they have to have, jeans when theirs have a hole, shirts when theirs is pitted out, and underwear once every seven years regardless.?This is a girl phenomenon exclusively, and I am sorry to say it is dishonest.?The idea of grabbing a pint of ice cream seems absurd on the surface.?Who would put a pint of frozen ice cream in their shopping cart, where it warms up, melts a bit, and then return it to the shelf if they did not at least have at the beginning a thought of buying it??No one.?Not a man, and not a woman either.? |
| Not a man, and not a woman either.?So here is the question taking it one step further.?Why would you ever find yourself dating a man if you knew he?was not someone who you would be willing to commit to??If you know, like the ice cream, that by dating this guy you are just having fun carrying him around the store for a while, but have no intentions of settling down and making him a priority how is?it any better??How can it be justified, to date someone without the intention of being honest from the beginning?Lets get out of the way those that, like all of us, started dating someone and did not know they were not-ready at the beginning.?And I am also not talking about honest relationships that fail shortly after inception because the guy turns out to enjoy the whiskers of another guy on his face more than yours.?I am talking about you in a relationship right now that is for sure not "The one".?Dating a guy who is absolutely not the man of your dreams, not the dress you will commit to, and will never find a home in your closet.?How is that any different that carrying around the ice cream??This can go both ways?and it may have happened to you.?Has definitely happened to me, no bitterness though.(spit)(and in case you are wondering, not recently either)?Again we justify, and like the dress where it can be hard to see who gets hurt, and a thrill in trying to get away with it, it can be hard to see that damage is being done to a person.?Maybe more than just one if either of you has kids.?A friend of mine who I recently got back in touch with just told me that he is going to be moving in with his girlfriend.?They each have a kid by the way, and this is important.?I asked why they were not going to get married then, which he had no plans to do.?He told me that, he and his boy had just had this talk and what he told his son was that he had already been married twice so he wanted to be sure this time before doing it again.?Hmmm.?I thought to myself what message this will send to his son.?Son, don't get married, just move in with enough women and one will stick, this is their third live-in by the way.??And if it doesn't work, no harm done, just move on.?(Side bar;?What is going on in this great kids head??He sees and hears his dad, please put yourself in this situation, saying and doing all the right things, and then boom.? |
| He sees and hears his dad, please put yourself in this situation, saying and doing all the right things, and then boom.?Move again.?He sees and hears everything but never sees commitment, just blind flailing for company)I think harm is done.?Done to you for becoming callous in your emotions, and becoming less aware of other peoples feelings.Done to the other person who will with out a doubt feel used, and just because you are HOT and 'put out' does not count in repayment for time and emotion.And worst of all severe potential hidden damage done to any kid who watches you do this.?Ask them if they are okay, like the concerned parent you are and they will smile and say "sure".?Ask an abused kid if they are okay and they will say the same thing.?They don't know any better, so be a big kid and make the right decision for you and your kid, the hard decision and keep your own company or your families company until you are sure.?How will you know if someone?is hard to live with until you live with them, some will ask.?Well, you don't.?But making a commitment to someone based on what you don't know comes from love.?If you don't love them then don't make the commitment and you have no worries.?If you do love them, rather are in-love with them then you will work it all out, find ways to accept them for who they are with all of their so-called faults and still enjoy life.?It's what love does.?It helps you to accept what may have been unacceptable before.?Remember your drama will increase, not decrease when you move in with someone else.?They are not your servant to help with your emotions any more than you are theirs.?There will be sharing and that means whatever emotions you are dealing with will at times be second to what they bring home.?Get yourself under control, your happiness in check before adding another person.?Its like the man who asks his wife for a threesome.?She replies "Threesome??You can't handle the one woman you have already" ?If you cant handle your own stuff right now, you are not ready to share someone else's.?It will overwhelm you both.? |
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