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Things children should not have to deal with |
| I am currently going through stuff with my ex, and I needed to find my divorce papers.They WERE in my dad's apartment, and there is all kinds of construction going on there.The contractor bagged all of his stuff for me and put the bags in the basement.I knew that I needed to go through all of the bags eventually anyway, I just was not planning on doing it any time soon...but the only way to find my papers was to look.The other morning I was pretty twisted about it all, and I woke up at 3:30 in the morning...could not sleep, so at 4 am I went into the basement to look through the bags.To the contractors credit, everything is pretty organized, and if you could see how unorganized my dad's stuff is, you would totally understand.So, there I was at 4 am, opening contractor sized garbage bags and transferring the items piece by piece into other contractor sized garbage bags.This went on for over an hour, and I did not find my papers, but I found a fly fishing rod that has to go to my dad (he is in San Diego with my sister).Then I came to a bag that had tackle bags in it (because fly fishing flies are small, so he has tackle bags as opposed to tackle boxes).Anyway, I came across a black bag with a zipper, without a handle or carrying strap.I thought how odd for a tackle bag...so I opened it.I thought I recognized what it was, but I was not sure...so I read the included documentation.When I realized what it was first I shrieked, then I dropped it into the garbage bag, then I broke out into hysterical laughter.It was 5 am and I could not very well call anyone.Can you guess what I found? |
| Can you guess what I found?Before you answer that question, let me take a moment to explain life in my house when I was growing up.When I was in high school, my dad would think nothing of coming out into the living room in his underwear when my friends were all hanging out.He was the only male in a house that included my mom, my sister, my grandmother and me. When I complained to my mom, she refused to do anything about it.When we were growing up, Queens did not have cable.We had a box that received WHT and then one that received HBO.We did not get cable until I started high school.When we finally got cable, the one channel my father insisted on was the Playboy channel.It came on every night at 7 pm, and at 7pm he turned it on...regardless of who was in the room or what was going on.We would be sitting at the table, my sister, me, my twelve year old cousin...watching the clock and at 6:59 we would all get up and leave as my father said "Hey...where is everyone going?"Both of my parents worked...and because of that we generally ate rather late.We would be eating dinner at the table (the kitchen, dining area and living room were all together in the shape of an "L"), and at 7 pm the channel would get changed to the Playboy channel.Soooo...in the basement at 5 am I found a bag with a penis pump.I am not really speaking to my sister, but later on that morning I did text message her phone to tell her of my find.I asked her if I should mail it to my dad...maybe I still will. |
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