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The Nobel Prize for Pornography |
| So.Today, amongst other things, I ended up watching pretty much the whole series of Gossip Girl.You probly don't need to watch it, there is so much other quality TV that should take priority, (ie.The OC re-runs, The Simpsons re-runs, Top Gear, Arrested Development) so if you don't get a chance the highlights are:1."Too bad u missed the assembly?, Not that it matters, Brown (university) doesnt offer degrees in slut."Yah huh, shut down Serena.2.The Hockey FightIs there nothing better than getting smacked in the knees with a hockey stick?3.Constantly referring to everyone by the first letter of their name.For example my name is Tim so you would call me T in gossip-girl-speak and your name is Mahatma so gossip girl would call you M. Therefore I will be speaking like this for the rest of the blog and possibly my life.Oh oh, and she uses cliche like i dunno, Amy Winehouse uses crack cocaine.Ditto bad rhymes.(My mistake, by Amy Winehouse i meant 'A')Funny show.Anyway, moving right along, I dunno why T started this blog tonight because he's really really struggling for material.He's a little bit upset he doesn't live on the upper east side of NYC and have a trust fund but, he'll get over it.Speaking of which T actually asked his parents the other night, what did happen and why didn't he have a trust fund with a portfolio of stocks and enough interest and dividends that he could live off it for the rest of his life, and not just live, I mean buy a new Porsche every 18 months and be able to throw his phone in the bin instead of having to delete all the text messages.Where is the cash people?Where?Sigh.The struggles of being white, middle class Australia.T's not even white, that is the problem.But he speaks very good English though, which brings me to triathlon, I believe (and correct me if i'm wrong) that triathlon has ONE A in it.So its pronounced tri-ath-lon.Not tri-atha-lon.To those persons can I say its because people like you are too lazy to move their toungue around their mouth and pronounce words that everyone is so dammned fat and obese right now.So if everything that is the amount of 3 is in fact 'free' when it comes out of your mouth, or the word Australia has two syllables when it comes out of your mouth (or you think that a syllable is a sort of STI), or you have a bumper sticker that says "Fuck off, We're Full" (in which case i can guarentee you would struggle with the fundamentals of basic oral communication), then please please, let me live my life in peace.It is better if we don't speak anymore/in the future/ever.Not that the ironic humour of "Fuck off, We're Full" is lost on me, that is Australia has like a population density of like I dunno, 3 people per square km?Mighty full alright.The only part of Australia that is full is the M2 in peak hour methinks.Oh and speaking of Australian or Un-australian, depending on I dunno the direction of the wind.I was watching that Cory Whatshisface interview on Youtube, it was I dunno Today Tonight or ACA (either one of those shows are where real Australians get their news...) Anyway,?when I thought that those shows had whored their asses out to the limit of their anal walls,?they go and better themselves and have the journalistic equivalent of a complete bowel collapse which is summed up with:"Take off those glasses and apologise to everyone you've frightened...Take off your glasses and apologise to us"(Snatches at glasses) If that isn't journalism then I don't know what is. Fifty house points, ACA.And frightened???Apologise to the people you've frightened?I don't think the kid was frightening people, we're not talking about some top-notch Halloween costume he had?Is she making up the questions as she goes along?Did she suppose that he was wearing sunglasses becase he has spiders where his eyes should be and therefore scares old ladies?I don't think frightened was the word she was looking for.But anyway.The other funny part is that he probably got paid more than my months wages to go on the show about a party that he'd been arrested over.Anyway my problem isn't with the party or whatever, my problem is whorehouse-sellout journalism.Anyway, don't watch those shows, everything is either made up or not worth space in your brainiac.Love a good rant.xoxo, gossip girl.P.S: Watch the show, its a freakin joke alright? |
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