| THE DIVINER VAGINAWhen I was 23, I dated a stripper.She was a 31-year-old mother of three with silicone foam implants in her breasts.?She was very beautiful and sensual and, on occasions, I would go to work with her.Much of her work was in suburban, working class pubs and bars.?Her audience were usually bored, married men, slavering at the sight of bare flesh; sad, defeated, deprived men, lost in private fantasies of how their sex lives used to be.Naturally, the highlight of the act was the point at which she opened her legs.?Like curtains opening at the start of a play or an opera.?Like the rollercoaster entrance to The Tunnel Of Love.?Like Moses parting the Red Sea and leading the children of Israel into the Promised Land.?The climax of the strip was always the revealing of the magical, mystical, all-seeing, all-healing orifice.?It is often called Pussy Power but, as sex often leads to calling of the Lord?s name, I shall call it The Diviner Vagina.As all women know, if you make even the vaguest of promises, it is possible to lead a man by his nose.?The promise of punany can prise open a man?s wallet and empty his bank account.?As Heather Mills proved this week, you can finally put a price on good sex: 24.3m.The all-conquering quim is a powerful currency.?It is the only bank that will not be affected by the credit crunch!?I will never forget the faces of those men gazing into my girlfriend?s Garden Of Eden; their cherubic faces aglow with wonderment.?As gold diggers and glamour models know, lickable lips open the most foreboding of doors. |
| As gold diggers and glamour models know, lickable lips open the most foreboding of doors.The interesting thing is: no matter how much a man gives in gifts and no matter how much he does in bed, a woman will always feel that, because she has allowed him to enter The Diviner Vagina, the man should feel gratitude!And, because the man has access to The Diviner Vagina, he should also treat her in a certain way.?She is deserving of attention and commitment and affection because he has been treated to the delicate, fragrant flower; the pleasure palace; the ultimate dining experience.Now, I?m not sure I totally agree.?As a giver, I don?t feel in receipt of anything.?I?m not saying I bring gifts to the party, but I certainly pay my way!?I don?t expect remuneration and I certainly don?t expect a bonus; I like trading and I appreciate value-for-money but sometimes, it must be said, I feel distinctly short-changed!Now, some of you may already have snared yourself a hunk; worked your bartering magic and hog-tied yourself a hottie!?But what happens when parts become less perky??Less prominent??Less pertinent??What happens when appetites decline and priorities re-define??What kind of trade will occur??Do you have anything else worth trading??
So this blog is not just about The Diviner Vagina, it is as much about The Deserving Cause.?These are the men who should no longer be part of a transaction.?These are the men who have paid their dues and should not be subject to the rules of trade and commerce.?There comes a time when it is no longer an exchange of bodily fluids but rather a sharing of them. |
| There comes a time when it is no longer an exchange of bodily fluids but rather a sharing of them. |
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