| You gotta love TheSmokingGun.Com.They love to collect the best mug shots of the week and post them online.And I love to make fun of them.Although, as Karma would probably have it, I'll probably end up in this line up one day either for solicitation of a 86 year old prostitute, stealing a hat from a drunk guy (this happened the other night by the way), forging a check with ten zeros on it (dumbass, check last blog) or one of several other stupid things I'm likely to do while intoxicated.Gotta love alcohol.It makes you laugh, it makes you feel good and it makes you get so wasted you end up in jail and online.So enjoy this little montage of pictures I like to call Mugshot Mania.Smile, foos, you in da pen!-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This is a very attractive girl.She's probably in for PI or prostitution or whatever else hot girls do when they're drunk.If girls like this are in jail, maybe I should comb the jails looking for women to bail out.On second thought, she's probably got something you can't wash off.In which case, I'll let Bertha, her cell mate, have her.Smile, you're about to get your kitty eaten.-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
They just told this guy what's on the menu for dinner.Asshole with a side of Bubba cock.Happy rimmin!--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ah, the Addams family.I can hear the theme song in my head now.This is exhibit one why some people should be sterilized.Some people should not be breeding.And when your entire family is in jail, at the same time, that's when you need to look around at each other, pick the tallest bridge you can find, join hands and jump the fuck off.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This guy met a pretty lady named Carl at a bar tonight.Carl, it turns out, is not short for Carla.In fact, Carl isn't short for anything, as can be seen by the blank look on his face.He was stretched out good.Look at the size of those lips.As if the Adam's apple didn't give it away there, stretch.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What the fuck you lookin' at?So what if I like to get high on crack and stick my titties in light sockets?It makes me feel good.How can something that makes me feel good be so wrong.Lock me up, throw away the key, I ain't skerred.There any light sockets in da pen???--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Now I seriously need to comb the jails after seeing this next pic.She's friggin hot.You mean the officer wouldn't let her go?All she'd have to do is start crying, saying she'd never, ever do it again and she'd be set free.This chick must have done something really fucked up to get locked up.Whatever she did, she doesn't seem too angry to be in jail.In fact, it looks like she's posing for her high school year book picture.Smile, honey, you're gonna be real popular with the ladies.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This midget got locked up for carrying a concealed weapon.That gun turned out to be fake by the way.True story.His choice of shirts, however, is probably not the best one to wear if you're going to go to jail.I'm sure there are going to be many takers who are going to want to sit on this dude's lap to tell them what they really want for Christmas.And in jail, when big mu fuckas get cell mates as little and as helpless as this one, everyday is christmas.naw mean?Hey, Carlton, smile, The Fresh Prince ain't savin yo ass this time!--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Paul Wall started this stupid ass trend of putting gold in your mouth.People, if?you're ugly to begin with, a little gold in your Grizill is not going to help.Ok?
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Wow, she's a looker.There's a lot of hot chicks in jail.And here I'm trying to pick up hot chicks at the bar or the grocery store, or on the internet.Looks like I need to become a bail bondsman, a jailer or maybe I just need to go hold up a liquor store with a toy gun like Santa's little helper up there tried to do.On second thought, maybe I'll just stand outside the jail and ask them if they need a ride home.?
And notice how all the pretty chicks are the ones grinning or smiling.Don't they know that they're about to be torn the fuck open by big burly lesbians who don't take no shit?This ain't glamour shots, honey, you're in friggin jail!-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Again, not the best choice of shirts if you plan on doing anything stupid that warrants going to jail.Top or bottom?Something tells me both these boys are gonna be bottoms.I'm just sayin.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This surfer dude is a really deep thinker.He's thinking, what will I have choose as my dinner choice?Powdered milk and bologna sandwich with a side of chips?Or soup with powdered milk and an apple?Hmmm, do they have a barber inside?Because I have a gay ass haircut.He's gonnna be really popular in jail.That's what this gay mu fucka should be contemplating.But the grin on his face says he's just fine with the entire affair.-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nice dirty squirrel, man. How long did it take you to grow that?When Bubba makes you rim his ass, you know you're going to be taking a little something back with ya.They don't call those Flavor Savers for nuthin.I'm just sayin.ugh
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This guy went streaking at an elementary school.That's why they have him covered in what looks like a fashionable bullet proof vest that he's still trying to take off to show off his junk.Why the vest?Because even six year olds are packin heat these days and nobody wants to see this guy's shrivelled up junk.But he's happy to be where he's at though.Look at that smile.You'd think it was his birthday.And it may be.Well guess what, gramps, you're going to be opening lots of presents tonight except there's no wrapping paper, only zippers and snaps...or buttons.Happy bobbing for apples!------------------------------------------------------------------------------
They caught this guy in mid sentence, "Hey, what you doin back there with that plastic glove?Why you taken my pants down and...AHHHHH!"Cavity searches are no fun for anyone involved.Unless the one doing the cavity search is Mr. Pervert up there in the fancy bullet proof vest.-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This guy got arrested in his Good Year uniform.Either that, or he bought that shirt and thought it was a good fashion statement.Whatever he did, he sure got the shit kicked out of him.What, no smile?He's just mad because they wouldn't let him take his crack in there with him.Check out those sunken cheeks.Skeletor works for Good Year.Who knew?--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Either this dude just got back from an AA meeting and fell off the wagon or the jailers are fuckin with this dude.Either way, this picture is hilarious in and of itself without any kind of caption.Smile, Pepito, you gonna be a big stud in da pen!I bet you pull all the hos!The lesson here, folk, is that if you're locked up, and you're going to have your picture taken, you might as well make it a good one.If for nothing else than just to make my job easier when I include you in my blog and make fun of your dumb ass.?
This has been another Mugshot Mania spread brought to you by TheSmokingGun.com and yours truly.Have a great weekend and I hope to see you in my blog next week! |
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