| It's been a while since I wrote one hasn't it...?Well it's been happening time and time again, I think about what I hope to be one day.I dream when I sleep and day dream in the day about the moment when I will step out of the airport and be at home when I go to mid-tour leave, it feels like it's almost there, I can taste it, feel it, yet, it is many, many, MANY, months away...Time seems to slow down every once in a while, at one point it felt fast, and then lately it feels like it has frozen itself...As I sit here in the internet cafe with all these fobbits (AKA- never leave the safety of the base) I realize that time for them must feel slower, cause they in reality don't do anything, other than gate guard and office work, while I bust my ass walking and driving for long distances over a period of time that almost seems endless...I don't even bother writing letters cause if I do, no one will get them until like weeks later, and you never know what can happen in just a few weeks time after that letter was sent...Maybe I was right about what I needed in life all those years ago.I need chaos in my world, here, there is no chaos, just bullshit.If there was a moment when hell broke loose one day, it would make me feel better, yeah I know it sounds crazy cause it may result in my death, but damn, enough is enough, something has to give eventually.Sure there has been some kool shit happen, but it's like the same thing happens every day, and over time, it gets boring...I need things to change every so often...Seeing the same people day in and day out, night in and night out, eventually gets boring...But who am I to compain, I don't think I ever do, no one notices it, maybe cause I never say anything...I guess it's for the best...The only time I actually have fun is on missions, so I can see new locations on the map, new areas, new people...Well I think I should stop here, I have alot of work to do...Maybe I should write a letter to those kids from home, I know they are waiting, I guess I can start tonite...LAter...L***
Shadow...Sad, how the only chaos around these days, is the one that rips through my heart... |
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