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Ok, let's say you are a famous Brazilian soccer player, or football player as the case may be, and you have recently suffered a knee injury.You figure, "I don't have to work tomorrow, I can't run, I can't go to practice and they're not going to put me in the game, so I'm gonna get fucked up tonight."And you do.You go to a bar, you have a few drinks, you talk to a few ladies, after all you're a famous football player, and you take a few back to your hotel room.One thing leads to another and you're kissing, and you're feeling up on each other, and you move to the bed, and the clothes come off and that's when you feel....something different.Surprise!You just grabbed a penis my friend.That's right.This story has just been unleashed to the national news.I wonder how his locker room buddies are going to treat him now?Ronaldo involved in altercation with transvestites
AC Milan striker Ronaldo was questioned by police after an altercation with transvestites in a Rio de Janeiro motel on Monday, authorities said.Ronaldo accused one of the transvestites of trying to extort him, police inspector Carlos Augusto Nogueira said.Police were still investigating what happened, but Nogueira said the altercation began when Ronaldo found out he was dealing with transvestites instead of women.The inspector said Ronaldo admitted he knew they were prostitutes when they met on Sunday night, but did not realize they were transvestites until they got to the motel."He admitted to everything, he wanted to have fun," Nogueira said."But he committed no crime at all, it was immoral at best."Prostitution was not illegal in Brazil.The striker told police he offered to pay the transvestites anyway, but before he left one of them allegedly asked for 50,000 reals ($A32,000) to hide the story from the media.Nogueira said he believed Ronaldo's version because the transvestite decided to leave the police station even before being fully questioned by authorities.The transvestite also accused Ronaldo of asking him to buy drugs.In a statement to TV Globo, Ronaldo reiterated he was a victim of extortion and denied he has ever used drugs.Ronaldo and the transvestites were only interviewed by police and voluntarily went to the police station.Ronaldo is in Rio de Janeiro recovering from left knee surgery.He said on Sunday he could be back in action in six months if his recovery continues to go as planned.Ronaldo has won two World Cups with Brazil, including the in 2002 when he scored eight goals, including two in the final against Germany.A message to Ronaldo's spokesman was not immediately answered on Monday.Notice how they reveal his stats at the end of the article.Like anyone is going to see him from this point on and think of his scoring stats.No, they're going to think of his scoring with a couple of dudes.Did he not notice the adam's apples?Did he not notice the bulges in their skirts?And most of all, did he not notice their deep voices?I'll admit, I've done some stupid things while drunk.I've stolen camouflage hats, I've left my bank card and ID at a strip club, and I've even pissed on a bouncer's leg accidentally which get me arrested for Public Intoxication.But at least I can say that I've never grabbed a woman's cock.I don't care if you're the best scoring soccer, er football, player in the world.You do what this guy did and you just want to go hide under a rock.Or at least I would if I were him.The moral of the story is that if you're drunk and you meet a gang of women and they all agree to come back to your hotel room, famous or not, ask them if they have a penis.For your sake and for the sake of everyone that has to read about your dumbass in tomorrow's newspaper article.It'll save you alot of heartache and it'll save...actually, thanks for the laugh Ronaldo.I can't wait to watch you 'score' whenever your knee gets better.(reaching down, down, down, GOOOOOOOAAAAAALLLLLLLLLL!)"Hey, Ronoldo, want to see our soccer balls?" hahaahhaha |
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