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Rick Springfield? This is Jesse. I’m coming |
| So, I'm sitting at my desk browsing the internet.At some point in my pointless journey through cyberhell, I hear a song that brings me to the point of this pointed piece.The name of the song is not important so much as the subject.It's some guy singing to some other guy about?some girl?What.The.Hell.What is it that makes a person think it is a good idea to write a song to or about someone else's girlfriend?... like the time that dude from Toto wrote Rosanna..which was about one of his band mates' girlfriends.?I don't get it.Who the fuck is this guy to tell anyone how lucky he is to have his current?girl or to judge how he treats her?Get your own girlfriend and write songs about her.Leave everybody else's alone!Where does the songwriter get his information?Is he some sort of creepy stalker troubador?The last thing I want to hear is a song about how some guy is singing to some girl how he would do her missionary style to look in her eyes instead of hitting it from the back all the time and then hear a clear description of what is my fuzzy butt.I'm serious...If I ever hear a song about how some dude was looking at my fuzzy butt while I'm plowing whatever girl I'm dating at the time, I'm going to hunt him down and break his hands.While the handbreaking won't decrease the (most likely) extremely feeble guitar skills of the singer, it will at least save the world from his songs for a few months.Also, don't ever want to hear another song about how some rockstar is judging a guy for allegedly beating his girlfriend.Like that is going to stop anything.Oh NO! Thanks for showing me the light and telling me I'm not a tough guy, Mr. Rockstar with your shitty 70's emo haircut.Red Jumpsuit Apparatus can eat a dick.After that they can get some talent and then a better band name.Finally, what makes the singer/songwriter/whatever a reliable source of information on how someone else's girlfriend should be treated?Dude's a singer.Not exactly a paragon of masculinity in the first place, and he is telling men how to treat their women.Great.I'll be sure to listen to you if I want my girlfriend to think I'm an overly emotional bitch and leave me. Thanks, songwriter.?Also, the dick is probably just trying to steal the guy's girl anyway.Guys, don't put up with songs about other people's girlfriends.Boycott them.Heckle the artists that write songs on the subject.Beat them if you have to.This shit has got to stop.Rick Springfield?This is Jesse.I'm coming for you. |
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