| A man with a heavy Brooklyn accent walked into?the bowling alley where I was bowling with Barack Obama and said:
I know what a mint is.?And I know what a hairy?ass is.?But who in de world came up wit de idea of combining 'em, and even?more puzzlin', who are de sickos who find dis sexy??Obsessive-compulsive, anal?retentive, ass-loving, butt-licking, shit-smearing, owner of sticky pornos, members?of de BMG music club, lawyer-dating sickos.?De good news is dat practically?nobody likes it.?Eveytime I watch de news or pick up de paper, you see?somebody complainin' about sexual hairy-ass mints.?Sexual hairy-ass mints.?I?hate 'em.??
And annudder ting I hate: sexual harassment.?Dese poor women.?Guys,?please, just do like de ostrich do and put one of you heads in de sand.?Leave dese women alone.?Dere's more to women dan tits and ass.?And as far as women sexually harassin' men in de work place, I only wanna know one ting.?Are dey hiring??(Laughs)??
Dere is one ting dat bodders me.?I was readin' dis ting in de paper 'bout dese waitresses sued de compny for sexual harrassment.?Here's my problem, de restaurant was Hooters.?Hooters.?To me dat's like a Playboy centerfold gettin' outraged because men are buying de magazine and gasp lookin' at her picture.?I am so surprised, I mean if you want a work environment dat's free from sexual harassment, de first place I'm gonna send you is Hooters.?Don't get me wrong it's a good place to eat.?Dey got beer, chicken and hooters, all a man can want.?Scared de crap outta me one time, dough.?It was Mudder's Day, our first Mudder's Day togeda me and de wife.?I told her I'd take her to any?restaurant she wanted, she said Hooters.?I tought damn I'm married to a dyke, 'cause she said Hooters got de best legs in town.?I was worried.??
She?was talkin' bout Alaskan Snow crab legs!?So we went, and after dinner de?waitress brought me a hairy-ass mint.?I didn't tink it was sexy at all.?
When he finally shut up, I killed him for being politically incorrect and for having a potty mouth.What's really funny is that I sat down intending to write a blog about the nature of love. |
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