| The Pickle:
Jean Johnson (Adam Sandler) sure is in a pickle!this time, literally!His father (Robin Williams) who happens to be a scientist with his own host of wacky problems has shunken his son and his dog and injected them into a metalic pickle that is home to an evil pickle alien (Rob Schneider) that wants to turn everything in the world into a pickle!Will Jean learn to deal with his own fear of dogs and win back the respect of his father?Or will he pickle up under the pressure?It?s non-stop laughs are heralded as "Fantastic, great fun for the whole family" by Roger Ebert and "A great movie for any age" by Gene Shalit.Rated PG.I thought it relied too much on it?s CGI elements to put together a worthy storyline, and although Rob Schneider played the villain wonderfully?I think the other actors?lacked a certain cogency and the love subplot between Jean and his dog was shoddy at best.But all in all it?s a fun movie that any child at heart could love.I give it an A+
Nova:
Jack Nova (George Clooney) is a master detective who can solve every case he gets, but the only case he can?t solve his own.Five years ago his wife was murdered and a bizarre symbol carved into her chest, he worked day and night but could never find the killer.But now the same kind of murders are happening again and it all points to a satanic cult who are trying to destroy the world.Can Jack stop this evil cult and put his past behind him?Or will he go Supernova?Rated R
It?s a non stop thrill ride full of twists and turns that leads to a fantasic conclusion with amazing suspense and action along the way.Of course, they weren?t really any other characters in the movie stuck out like Jack, there was the cult leader (Played by Danny DeVito) but he really wasn?t as interesting as you might think, so it all really came down to George Clooney to save the movie.I give it two thumbs up
Switch Hitters:
James Florsky (Rob Schneider) is an aging man on his death bed that remembers his life as a baseball star in the 1940?s and his fall from grace after he has an affair with another player of his team (Adam Sandler).A very touching story that shows that no matter what happens you must always follow your heart and let no obstacle stand in the way of your dreams.Ebert and Roeper call it "This year?s Forrest Gump" and "An affair to remember"
Rated PG 13
I thought it was a very touching movie, and if I may be so bold, I cried.It has a very strong and believable performance and from both Adam Sandler and Rob Schneider, and it shows that they really can act in a drama without having us remember their whole goofy careers behind them.I give it five stars
Coke Floats:
A New York cop played by Tom Hanks is sent to Paris to find an international drug lord who has eluded the police for decades, he teams up with a rough and tumble french policeman played by Jean Reno.The catch is they have to find him in 48 hours or he will unleash a cloud of pure cocaine on the city of Paris, causing everyone who breaths it to be hooked on coke instantly.Also they have a monkey sidekick.Rated PG 13
I?ll be honest, I didn?t really watch this movie.I don?t even know if it?s real, my friend told me about it.But I give it a 10/10 anyway, I mean, read that description, It?s got to be good.Ding Dong I?m a Dog or Something:
Rob Schneider becomes something through voodoo magic and it?s funny and hilarious and wacky antics follow
Oh wait, this isn?t a movie, this is his whole career, my bad.Cyborgia:
A cyborg (Jean-Claude Van Damme) must force his way into a machine controlled city in the year 2309 and rescue a scientist (Christopher walken) who has a cure for a virus that threatens to kill every human on the planet.But things don?t go according to plan when a machine (Arnold Taylor) decides he wants to be human and kills everything he sees for some reason.Co-starring Ving Rhames as Neil the chopper pilot.Entertainment Weekly calls it "The most action packed film we?ve seen in years"
Rated R
I thought it was a very strong film that?s alot deeper than you might think from the description.The central theme of a future where everyone is controlled by a machine is extremely disturbing and the movie shows what happens when robots have too much power.I give it a 100% rating
Kevin Smith?s The Fans:
Kevin Smith is once again pissed off at something and feels the need to make a movie about it.This time he takes on the people who hate him the most, his own fans!In The Fans two nerds spend a weekend at a Sci Fi convention and a series of wacky antics ensue when the normal one (Brian O?Halloran) doesn?t like the way the wacky one (Jeff Anderson) is acting!Jay and Silent Bob also pop up again and get high again and act wacky again.But everything falls apart when the normal one tries to go on a date with Love Intrest (Lisa Spoonhauer)!Needless to say, everything in the movie will revolve around Star Wars somehow.Rated R
My friend told me about this one too, I think he?s just screwing with me now.I give it a five out of five.Yuppie Puppies:
Two puppies (Owen Wilson, Sigourney Weaver) are on a roadtrip around the U.S. trying to save their father (Woody Allen) from evil dog catchers who want to kill him in a Satanic ritual.However, The puppies are drawing the attention of local hillbilly gangs who hate Yuppies and Puppies.Expect lots of hilarity and suspense in this puppy thrill ride from The Simpsons creator Matt Groening.Rated PG
I thought it played off the whole puppy thing too much and it kind of lost it?s edge when one of the puppies dies, but all throughout it keeps a non stop pace and it features tons of action, even if it is too much like The Simpsons.I give it 10 puppies out of 10
King Kong EX: Kong with a Vengeance
A new island has been discovered that has even more giant gorillas wandering around.having not learned their lesson the first time they decide to take another gorilla with them, this time called Lord Cong.Needless to say, it gets loose, but unlike the first one, this gorilla has eye beams and rocket boots.The only way to defeat Cong is to build a giant robot to match him in battle.things go wrong however, and every human on earth dies, leaving nothing but huge gorillas to take control of the planet.We then learn at the very last scene that this was all just a prequel to Planet of the Apes.Rated PG 13
Man, I don?t know, I think it was an indie project or something.I give it?40 euros
Waiting for Blake:
A charming everyman (Hugh Grant) has taken a vacation to an alaskan lodge to get away from it all, but everything turns upside down when he finds his old crush from 4th grade (Meg Ryan) has taken a vacation at the same lodge!With the new information that she is getting married to a total jerkoff (Tom Cruise) he has one last chance to win her back!but what he uncovers in the lodge will change his life forever, Jerkoff is actually a terrorist spy!can he stall the wedding long enough for his friend Blake (Jon Heder) to gather the evidence?Coming this summer!Rated PG 13
I think this was all just a thinly veiled pro america movie, even though the movie was full of pro islam people.I also thought it was very racist and it made me a racist.I give it 5 KKK members
Who are you and who am I:
A man (Jason Statham) wakes up one day to find he has no memory of who he is, so he decides to kick ass and then take names so he can remember who they are.Along the way he meets a very brooding man in a trenchcoat (Keanu Reeves) who may hold the secret of his past, but he won?t give it up without a fight!At the center of it all lies a mysterious and shadowy organization hell bent on taking everyones memory and using it to power a machine to rule the world.Unless the nameless hero can stop them!Expect action like you?ve never seen it before in stunning EXPLOSOVISION
Directed by Michael MannRated R
I didn?t really know what was going on, but I do know Jason Statham killed a bunch of people in the movie, and that?s got to mean something
23 holy crosses
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Well, all in all I thought it was a very great year for movies, and it helped me learn a little about myself.Now I know that you?CAN get over your fear of dogs, you CAN put your past behind you, you CAN have a gay affair, you CAN stop drug lords, you CAN waste your whole career, you CAN fight robots, you CAN make stuff up, you CAN make fun of puppy death, you CAN make low budget crap, you CAN make me a racist, you CAN?T beat Jason Statham, though.And you CAN too!Go America! |
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