| I was just reading back to my experience at my very first rock concert - the Def Leppard concert last August.I stated then that (in my early 40s), I had never in my life been to a rock concert; that Def Leppard and Van Halen (in that order) would be my first choices.I already know there will never again in my life be an experience like I had at the DL concert, but on Thursday, I *will* be attending the Van Halen concert in San Antonio.Unbelievable!The only two bands I have ever REALLY wanted to see performing live, and after a lifetime of never having attended a concert, I get to see my top two picks WITHIN THE SAME YEAR!Kickass.Then there's my on-going battle with the school district over my 15-year-old.He came home from spending the summer with his father (who apparently spent the entire summer pretending to be a "black ops agent" for the government - what a tard!)?Eath was kinda stressed out when he got home, but he was looking forward to the start of band camp and football practice.On his first day at band camp, I got a noonish phone call from him - sounding ghastly - asking me to come pick him up.When I arrived, he was sprawled out on the sidewalk - his stuff just dumped all around him.It was well over 100 out that day, and I was scared to death he'd stroked out.I got him into the Jeep.He seemed pretty out of it, but hey, he was conscious!As soon as the cool AC hit him, he started vomiting.I didn't know a human being could vomit that much!I went to take him to the doc's office, then when I was almost there, I realized her office was closed.I took Eath to the hospital.Heat exhaustion.They rehydrated him, and he felt better.He only stayed home a couple days, then jumped right back in.We did everything we could think of to keep him well-hydrated and cool.I got him one of those camelback water packs, a cooling cap, cooling wristbands, and a cooling neck bandana.It helped, but he was getting increasingly-frequent migraines.A slow progression from one or two a month a couple years before to nearly every day now.On the day the band was lined up to take the field for their first show of the year, Eath went down.By this time, he had migraines every day.He was vomiting every day.It was horrible!His PCP didn't even want to see him - she said this was beyond her scope of expertise and Eath needed a pediatric neurologist.Another trip to the hospital to get a really severe bout of vomiting/migraine under control, and we made the appointment to see the specialist.That was back in September.Eath kept trying to go to school.He's always been an honor student, and was in National Junior Honor Society last year.School and his performance in school is REALLY important to him.He'd wake up, vomit, take his meds, and try to make it through school.I had to pick him up every few days all the same and bring him home.Now I'm between a rock and a hard place.I already know the school district will prosecute a parent for "negligence" if a child misses more than 11 days of school.The specialist is only seeing my son once every 3 months, and his PCP won't see him for this while he is seeing a specialist to treat it.So all we can do is go day by day and hope the meds will eventually work ... if he can just keep them down.He's going to school when he can, but I don't think he ever made it longer than three days straight without needing to come back home, and this is AFTER he has done his puking and taken his meds for the day.I'm no idiot - I know a person can't keep vomiting every day like that without side-effects.An acid-burned trachea; breakdown of tooth enamel; basically, his entire esophogeal tract was acid-burned.Nothing will stay down, and he is ALWAYS hurting.Next visit to the doc, Eath's meds are changed.It helps, but he can't keep them down long enough to REALLY do their job.He's taking Phenergan like candy, so I start him on a couple OTC supplements to try to get the upchucking under control.Finally one day, I see him trying to sneak out of the house WHILE HE'S STILL HEAVING!!!He doesn't want me to know he's still vomiting; he doesn't want to miss school.He is feeling tremendous pressure to perform and be the good student he has always been, but he is falling further and further behind.This only adds to the stress, and therefore the migraines."THAT IS IT!"I said."You aren't going back to school until you can go a week without vomiting or a migraine."?He crawled up into bed where he stayed for over a month with his navy-blue blanket covering his eyes - barely squeaking when he had to speak.We finally got the vomiting under control, and after about a month, the acid damage seemed to be healed.The migraines were still coming.Sometimes only twice a week - sometimes it was once a week, but for three days.Meanwhile, I am keeping the school informed.Who to tell????I communicated the situation with his counselor, his principal, the school nurse, the registrar and attendence clerk, social worker, psychologist, and anyone else I could think of.I asked his counselor to ride herd on working with Eath's teachers to get his homework together every day and leave it at the front desk for Eath's older brother to pick up every day.I think one teacher left one folder out for him ONE time.One teacher emailed and told him to follow along as best he could using the PPT slides on his class web site.Further and further behind.He's beginning to feel hopeless, and the depression is marked.He doesn't even want his best friends to come in and see him.Ah well, at least the school district will send a remote tutor after 6 weeks.?WRONG!!Today marks the first day of the second semester of the year.Eath is still home.I am still fighting the school to get him help, but every time I jump through whatever hoop they hold up for Eath to qualify for remote services, the more hoops they seem to have.It has become a tragic stand-off.I simply will NOT allow my son to fall through the cracks of "mainstreaming" just because he has been ill. The school will not send a tutor until Eath's doctor says THE magic words ... apparently the first two letters stating that Eath would benefit from remote assistance and would they please arrange it was not enough.?After I sent the last doctor's letter to the school last week, all hell broke loose.Eath's counselor called the doc's office and spoke with the PA who sees Eath.Though he's not scheduled to return to the office for 2 months, she told the school counselor she couldn't send a certified letter stating that Eath MUST stay in bed the next four weeks.He's down to only two migrains a week on average, so that doesn't qualify as needing to stay home ... yet if I send him back, he'll only be told AGAIN that he is "failing" by his teachers.Not "incomplete", but FAILING!!You just can't DO that to a kid whose identity is built on being an honor student.It devastates him.I shot back a very nasty email to everyone and their dog - including the superintendent of schools - and said I didn't see any point in continuing on the current course; that I would confer with my lawyer and see about setting up a mediation.Betcherass I MEANT it, too!Well, the school principal replies this time (there are GRADE principals and then there is one SCHOOL principal).He says all we need is the correct wording from the doc, and if we can all meet, he's sure we can work it out.I call the doc's office.The PA tells me she told my son's counselor, "If he hasn't been to school at all in three months, there is something else going on."?IS SHE FUCKING INSANE?!?!?!??Did I not just sit in their offices LAST WEEK and tell her that Eath was not attending school and WOULD NOT until he had a fair chance to catch up?Did I not tell her the whole damn story in minute detail ... enough so that she wrote the damn letter requesting remote assistance in the first place?GAH!!!!!!!So I explain it all again, and she says she'll have to talk to Dr. Kane - the specialist - and get back with me. Now, tell me if I'm thinking crazy, but doesn't a young man - an honor student - who cannot attend school regularly and has fallen behind because of a SERIOUS illness not qualify him for remote assistance to help him catch up and keep up?Is that not what remote assistance is for?PA calls back today.I can tell she doesn't want to have to tell me the words she has to say.We are in a gray area.The neurologist is just that - he's there to treat Eath's PAIN.He treats the migraines, which are coming under control.We are all well aware that there is a major psychological factor involved at this point, but being a neurologist, he simply cannot write the letter the school requires when Eath's problem is not wholely or exclusively neurological.Sweet.Our insurance doesn't cover mental health, so there it is.Ah, well ...I've decided I've had enough of this shit.I really have no choice now but to withdraw my son and homeschool him.?This is just crap!Would be nice if I could actually AFFORD to homeschool him.Aye, there's the rub.There's this whole unpleasantness of him needing a curriculum from an "accredited" high school, or his education is pointless because his diploma will never be recognized by a college ... and he MUST attend college.He wants to be a doctor.?OK, so I find an accredited high school program he can do from home - even from bed when he needs to ... and I did find one.Best of all, it is a branch of the University of Texas, so my son can ever start earning legit college credits while he's still technically in high school.BITCHIN!!?Now THAT is what I call a solution for a deserving kid.?Yep ... except tuition for four years will total $8,000 PLUS BOOKS & MATERIALS FEES.What the hell is this that a good student (who just happened to get sick with migraines so bad they regularly debilitate him) can't get a basic education when he has the will to work for it?Talked to my big bro the other night.He's a bona fide genius - no shit there.He tells me he's just been through the same thing himself!He started getting migraines.First gradual, but eventually he had blinding, seering migraines every day.It took two years for him to find the magic combination of meds to stop them, but he DID eventually find a way to stop them.That's all I want!I am encouraged to hear him say he understands Eath's pain, but even moreso to hear that my brother is better now.Maybe soon Eath will be better, too.Right now, it's just a game of waiting.We adjust meds and wait to see what happens.We adjust again and wait.So help me, I am NOT going to let my son be forced to return to school when he isn't well and allow his teachers to tell him he is FAILING when such a thing is not even POSSIBLE when one has not been present at all due to illness.Dammit, I am the daughter, granddaughter and sister of educators.I grew up sympathizing with the teacher's point of view and have always gone out of my way to be fair to my kids' teachers.I'm not one of those asshole demanding parents who thinks my golden offspring can do no wrong.No - I'm far more likely to believe the TEACHER'S side of most stories.This is HARD for me! I was brought up NOT to do this to educators and administrators!Yet, how many more hoops do they have behind their backs for me to jump through?How much would you pay to have MY life?...BUT WAIT!?There's more ...I forgot to add that right before Winter Break, I did a nasty and copied the superindendent on an email asking why none of Eath's teachers had followed through with supplying him with assignments.The response?Well, one teacher emailed a gargantuan pile of attachments - in no special order - telling Eath to have them done IN THREE WEEKS!!!!!?A semester's-worth of assignments in three weeks??Eath wrote back to ask if he could get some help putting the docs in order so he knew where to start.No response whatsoever.?Nice.NOW how much would you pay?Well, HOLD ON!For a limited time, we've also got ...FINANCIAL PROBLEMS!?Yes, you too can be on the brink of financial disaster if you follow these simple steps.?(1) Get a job as a contractor, which virtually GUARANTEES no stability or permanency.?(2) Come to really love the job, the team, the people you work with, and all that you do so that you would REALLY like to stay there as long as you can.(3) Have someone way up the corporate food chain to blow their budget by millions of dollars so your beloved team gets cut to the bone.(4) Open a side business that is supposed to help you JUST IN CASE your head is the next incidental corporate decapitation on the schedule, and make sure your partner is a lunatic bipolar who sucks up every free second of your "non-working" time with his frantic rantings.(5) Stay loyal to your team when all OT is cut off and this will represent a loss of thousands of dollars of income you absolutely count on annually.(6) All things considered, feel good about all this because it is better to have a job you love with people you really care about than to risk a new situation (you tried this once before, and it was an unparalleled disaster).I need OT I can count on or a new job ... or an additional job ... or a 40-hour day.Any one of those options would work.Being a contractor, I already know the raise thing ain't happenin'.Now let's add the cost of Eath's homeschooling ... um ... let's see here ... carry the 2... and ...I get ....FUCKED.Well then.At least I have the weekend to go to the concert and pretend for three precious days that life is like Visa - it's everything I want it to be.What a whiner, huh?At least I HAVE what I have.Anyone care to help me figure out what I am trying to say here?What point I am trying to bring myself to?Lawd, I am tired!! |
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