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i don't remember writing this, but i like it. |
| i was looking through some old notebooks, and i guess i wrote this a while back.?it's in my handwriting and my notebook, so i'm guessing i wrote it.?i rather like it though, so parden the break from the sarcastic picture ridden stupid blogs you are so accustomed to from me.::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::I wish I was fascinating or had somethin to say that was important:?more stories, a better wit.I wish something about me stood out, some charismatic flair or striking features, but i am boring and rather plain so i guess i'll just have to develop something else.but what?I am either too loud or too secretive.?I dont really like people and i freak out in crowds, so i guess i am doomed to eternal awkwardness.i want what everyone wants:???some indication that i'm doing something noteworthy, either amazing or disgusting.?It's why people have babies- to say "look how cute i was.?look what i made and compare it to your own.?mine's better."?fuck your honor roll student.people seem to focus so?much on their childhood as a scapegoat for all their issues.?"I wasn't hugged enough as a child" or "my dad was?unfeeling."??Blame your parents.?We spend so little time as children in comparison to the amount of time we spend analyzing our childhoods.we look at baby pictures and wonder how happy we really were.?We had to be happy.We were smiling and everyone loved us.We grow up for some reason and spend years killing ourselves trying to reach the perfection we had as babies.?We do everything for attention.It's pathetic, really.we're all so mad about growing up; forced into producing meaningfulness.freedom is escaping, going back to a fetus like state befopre our minds were touched by societal expectations.?live only by stimulus.?no knowledge, no experience, etc.?just react.?when you need something, take it.don't crave attention, love or affection.just touch something.?touch anything.grope in the dark.live mindlessly.that's freedom. |
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