| I was going to write yet another blog about how much I hate it here in Fayettenam, how I'm so sick to death of goddamn ghetto scumbags and wanna be hustlers and the fucking pathetic no class wretched criminal scum bottom feeding turd factories that I encounter on a daily basis, like the one who just tonight ripped off the charity bucket that we put at the register at work to collect money for the animal shelter.I was going to write yet another angry angry blog because I live in an angry angry place and I'm fucking tired of feeling like I don't belong and feeling unsafe and wondering which one of any number of the lowlife miserable fucks that I casually encounter on a daily basis might be the one who chooses to end my life over the six dollars that I might have in my wallet.I was going to write a blog about how I've been trying very hard for a very long time to make myself sort of a better person, the kind of person who is centered and Zen and who does not carry around this constant anger inside.How I've tried to study Buddhism and apply it's tenets to my life in order to make this transition to better personhood, how I've seriously considered finding some Fayetteville Wonder Shrink to write me a prescription for whatever miracle drug it is that they give to the Army wives to make them all so glassy eyed and smiley and goddamn complacent.It's not that I fear that I'm some ticking time bomb that is going to go off without reason and hurt anyone, it's just that I figure it's not good for a person to feel like this so much of the time.Also, I'm pretty sure it's probably unpleasant for my family and friends and coworkers to have to deal with cranky, mean, "This town needs an enema" Ro all the time.I was going to blog about how I hate to sound like a broken record talking about how much I hate this town all the time and how people piss me off all the time because, well, a large portion of the population of the planet or at least the country is so miserably insensitive and worthless that just thinking about it right now is making me a little nauseous.I planned on getting around to the part about how I used to be one of those people that always saw the good in others, who always believed that people inherently wanted to do the right thing, who saw the magic in everyday things and how five years of living in this town has officially skullfucked the last of that right out of me. I don't know what else to say that I haven't already said. |
| I planned on getting around to the part about how I used to be one of those people that always saw the good in others, who always believed that people inherently wanted to do the right thing, who saw the magic in everyday things and how five years of living in this town has officially skullfucked the last of that right out of me. I don't know what else to say that I haven't already said.I'm sure you all are plenty tired of hearing the same old same old.It's not as if whining about it and bitching about it is going to fix it.Yay for concrete and scumbags and thumping bass and baggy pants and American flags and trash everywhere and fucking crack rocks and strip clubs and strip malls and sprawl.Quit your bitching and bloom where you're planted, right?This would be the part of the blog where I trot out that old cliche about how cynics are cynics because they desperately want to be proven wrong about how bad things are, only it keeps not happening which just makes them more cynical.So, yeah.I was going to write a blog, but I've written it so many times before and I'm sick of writing it and thinking it and I'm sure everyone is sick of reading it so I'm just going to go take a bath instead. |
| I was going to write a blog, but I've written it so many times before and I'm sick of writing it and thinking it and I'm sure everyone is sick of reading it so I'm just going to go take a bath instead. |
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