| Do you ever feel free?I was asked that very question today.MY answer: only when I am out riding quads.wind on my face flying down the beach.Oh how I love it, no worries, no cares in the world?- just my family and friends life of liesure..... till its time to go home.to the real world again.I am afraid of loosing everything I have worked so hard to get, everything I struggled to learn..I have to have everything going along just right, or I am not happy.I am never happy, never satisfied, never good enough for my own self.Much less what I think you and everyone else in my life wants me to be.... does anybody really care?does anyone notice?One day I started to cry about my Dad, and this very good friend of mine said that was the first time he had ever seen me show emotion... he said he didnt know I had it in me, like I didnt want anyone to get too close... something I guess I do share with Dear ol' Dad.?Some days I just want someone to know the true me, to care about me, and somedays I think I have it with my husband, other days I feel so alone.I struggle with contentment, and depression.Very rarely do I feel JOY.Help me learn, do you struggle as I do?Do you know yourself, who you are today?can that change tomorrow? |
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