| My friend Lori has a brother who is an utter disaster of a human being.?He is drug addicted and has been in prison.?In fact he recently went back to prison when he stole money and drugs, breaking the terms of his parole.?But he did one thing which tied people together.?He dated a divorced woman with 3 children, and brought this family home to meet his family.?I think it must have been love at first sight.?This brother eventually screwed over his girlfriend and his story is another tale.?The part where I come in is when my friend Lori called me to tell me about the middle child, Jami, who was sick.?She was having bone pain so severe that she ended up in the ER.?After much agony and back and forth with doctors who didn't want to listen, we learned that Jami's Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia had returned, 2 years after her bone marrow transplant.?She went back to Children's hospital in St. Louis and began chemotherapy.?They prepared to harvest more stem cells from her brother in hopes of doing another bone marrow transplant.?Over the months Lori would call me up and ask questions about ALL, the same kind of cancer my husband died from.?We talked about nausea, pain management, infection control, and expectations.?Jami's Mom was certain that Jami could beat this because now her body knows how to kill the cancer.?Lori and I weren't so sure, knowing what we know about how cancer becomes resistant to the chemotherapy.?Jami struggled and suffered from low blood counts and infection.One day, the doctors broke the news that Jami was too weak and they could not get her into remission, and gave them their options.?Jami's dad wanted to take her away to UCLA or Mayo or anywhere that could cure his daughter, but in the end Jami made the choice to go home, see her friends and family, and do no more.?Again, Lori was on the phone with me talking about hospice, Jami's wishes for her funeral, and how to make her comfortable.?We discussed how people die, how it looks, how death takes you.?We talked about how Jami would ask for chicken nuggets, take one nibble and be too sick to eat any more.?Then a few hours later she would ask for chicken nuggets again, and of course, she got her chicken nuggets.?How can you refuse the request of a dying child, even when you know she won't be able to eat or drink what she has asked for?She died yesterday, January 26 2008 at the age of 13.?She was at home, with her family.?I never knew her, but I feel oddly connected, following her as I did through my friend Lori.?She feels no pain now, she suffers no more. |
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