| So, I don't know if I ever mentioned this...[Runs and checks profile]... okay, yeah, so there is some mention of it in my profile, but anyway.I have a bit of a problem.I write songs, some of which may actually be enjoyable, but I currently have no way of doing anything with them.The reason?I more than about half suck at guitar.I have owned guitars since I was 14.I used to play frequently, but even then it was only rhythm guitar, and mostly crap at that.(This was back in Indiana.At the time, I had a band.No, I won't be saying anything else about that.No, neither will Pop.Ahem - I said no, Pop.And no, you won't be hearing any of the songs from that band, unless I am profoundly drunk at the time.)So - I've written basic guitar parts to about 5 or 6 of my songs, pretty much entirely earlier ones written between the ages of 18 and 23.My more recent songs are much better, but sadly better means more complex, and more complex means that I can't figure out how to play the music I hear in my head.Since I'm not exactly much of a composer, I wouldn't have a clue how to write the music so someone else could play it, unless I could first figure out how to play it myself, which I can't.So basically, I'm ass out of luck, and these songs are pretty much lost except for when I'm in the shower or feeling narcissistic enough to make other people listen to me sing a capella.Pop disagrees.She feels I should try to find a guitarist the same way I found a role-playing group; to wit, by hanging out in a place that sells related items (in this case, guitars) and wait for one of the staff to come over and politely ask me to buy something or leave.At that point, I ask if he knows any guitarists looking for songwriters, and the kind-hearted salesperson will direct me to another shop where, by the direct intervention of fate, someone who works there will be interested in my songs and invite me to join the band he's forming.Okay, so that's not exactly what she means, but that's how it happened with the gaming group.Only with gaming books and comic book shops and a guy who looks like Wolverine wearing Buddy Holly glasses.But I digress.I keep thinking about how I have some talent in the songwriting and singing areas, and maybe if I could hammer out the guitar parts to some of my better songs, I could post them somewhere or play them at an open mic night and find someone who likes my style and wants to... do something.I don't even care if it doesn't make money.Hell, I don't care if it COSTS money at this point.But every time I think, hey - if I practice, I'll get better, I pick up the guitar and within 15 minutes I want to smash the damn thing, and not in that hardcore but ultimately wasteful rock star kind of way.(Why do they DO that, anyway?Half the audience at those concerts would chew off their own leg to get to own that guitar...)And I get... well, I get angry at myself for being able to think of and hear these guitar parts for these songs in my head, but then being completely incapable of even playing them out one note at a time.It makes me not ever want to play again, some days.It drives me nuts like a steering wheel on pirate pants.I don't know if you've ever written anything, like a story or a poem, or a song; but these things... it's like they want to be heard.It's not just a case of "look what I can do!"- it's something else.It's a desire to exist outside of my head, and when I can't do anything with the music it's like it's screaming in anguish in my head and I don't know how to make it stop.It makes me want to take the guitar and crack my skull open with it to try to let the music out.I need help from someone, someone who can take the music in my head and make it come out of a guitar.I need help to set these things free.But I don't even know where to start looking.Message boards and community want-ads like Craigslist are flooded with musicians already, and everybody always wants to know what kind of music you play so they know your styles are compatible - and I have no way of describing or demonstrating what my style is.So where do I go?Where can I find someone to help me bring this music out into the world?I'm guessing the guitar store isn't the answer.I've burned that bit of serendipity already. |
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